Failed, first time

Well, unfortunately, I failed my driving test. It was a pretty bad performance all round I thought, but she told me I would have passed had I not used a driveway on the three point turn. It is all booked in though again in three weeks and this time I will certainly be very disappointed if I fail. It is actually very easy, I'm just hoping I don't do any immediate failures. In the meantime I am getting some driving lessons so I know absolutely everything I need to know. I only had about one or two. We will have to focus on slow maneouvers, like the parallel park, three point turn and the reverse park.

Phase one of getting on the road solo completed

Well I passed the hazard perception test well today, so now I only need to focus on the practical driving test. I feel I am reasonably well prepared but by no means 100 percent confident. I will probably fail, but my aim is to go in there relaxed and to use my driving instincts. Who knows, perhaps this time tomorrow I could be on a P2 license and a whole new world will open up. Alternatively, I will fail and have to sit it again in another six weeks or so. But I don't think that will bother me too much. At least then I can get some more practice with a driving instructor (I only really had one lesson) and will know what to expect on the test. As soon as I get my license I will start looking for cars. I have my eyes on either a Toyota Camry CSI or maybe a Toyota Corolla. It won't be one of the European cars which look great but cost a fortune to run. Still, my car must look reasonably cool, but also be cheap on petrol and maintenance costs. The colour will be important, I will not settle for anything that is not either dark blue, black or dark green. So, if all goes well, I should be driving around solo in my very own car by my birthday at the end of March at the latest.

I have been watching and reading some interesting things in the news lately. One of the stories which I just watched on Sky News was about the Greek tennis fans that were arrested at the Australian Open for unruly behaviour. The police officers used capsicum spray to subdue some of them, and they claim a 12 year old girl was also affected by the spray, even though the police officers deny this. I thought the use of capsicum spray on these people was a bit heavy-handed. One of the female officers, who was not directly threatened from what I could see, sprayed it in one guy's face and then ran. It seemed as though they were indulging in their power a bit by using the spray. If they had of called in more police officers, they could have arrested these guys far easier. But then, that can be expensive and a drain on resources. I basically think the use of capsicum spray in this incident was morally borderline. Another interesting story is that of the 16 year old kid who threw a party and somewhere around 500 people turned up and caused a riot on the street. He really is quite a funny kid. I respect his refusal to take of his sunglasses, even though he was being asked, quite sternly by one TV journalist to remove them. She was clearly out of line probably felt quite condescending towards him because of his youth.

A full day, for a change

I had a pretty full day today, which is not normal. Usually I arise around noon, probably because I am going to bed so damn late. But I was up around 8:30 today cancelling a last minute driving lesson before my test and also my hazard perception test which was meant to be today. Everything went smoothly and I was able to go down to the tennis with my brother. We saw one big name, Lleyton Hewett. We also saw that guy who does the impressions of tennis stars, but I have forgotten his name. He did an impression of Marie Sharapova on request. My brother and I were ducking in and out of the stadium every now and then to have a smoko and to buy food and escape the heat. We finished the day at a pub on the corner of Flinders and Swanston and had a beer. Overall it was really good, my first tennis match ever live. I am even thinking of taking up the sport, or at least some sport to get fit and lose the pot gut. I have been toying with the idea of taking up football, but I might not be strong enough to play that sport. I could train during the day at least, because I have those hours off. There is always the possibility of joining a swim team, but I think I might need to get some lesson to improve my stroke.

Anyway, I am cutting back on my cigarette consumption. I had four tonight after I bought the pack at about 7:30 and it is now 11:30, which means I had about one per hour. That is far better than usual at least. Tomorrow, I think I might try to improve on that and have only one every two or three hours. I just need to find something to occupy myself with and I will be fine. Most of the difficulty I have when it comes to smoking is my sheer boredom during the day when I am not working. If I can find a way to fill time constructively I will be fine. There is a lot to do tomorrow, so I should be ok, hopefully. Smoking for me is an addiction borne, not out of physical necessity but because I am always so damn bored. If I can conquer my boredom, I should be able to cut back successfully and eventually quit.

The difficulty in quitting smoking

I have tried many times unsuccessfully to quit smoking. Everytime I finish a pack I tell myself that I am going to quit. I never eventuates though. I usually am back up at the service station or milk bar the next day or within a few hours. The longest I have gone without a cigarette since I started some 19 months ago or so, was six days. I am ashamedly a pack a day smoker and have been for most of hte 19 months I have smoked. I was talking to a lifelong smoker tonight, who has smoked for well over forty years, and he told me that 19 months is absolutely nothing. I am not so sure. Last winter was a very sick one for me. I came down with my first fever since about 14 years of age. It was a really bad case where my fever was hovering below forty. I was coughing far more and had far more colds than in any previous year. It is without a doubt a direct result of the damage I have done to my immune system through smoking. I even had the odd smoke during this time, even though it felt extremely harsh on my throat. I just don't feel at the moment that I have any will-power. I was never a very conscientious student, in high school, university and later a TAFE where I did a course, or at least the first half of a course in IT. I have never really been able to resist temptation when it comes to food or able to pull myself together completely in times of psychological hardship. These are things I am learning to do now though. Self-control, will-power - it is something I need to learn pretty fast and I feel I have already made some inroads.